It's time for a night out at the cinema for Albert and Harold but the Steptoes are beset with problems before they even set foot onto Oil Drum Lane: Albert's lost his shirt, Harold can't find his socks and neither of them can agree on what to go and see.

Harold suggests that they go to a film somewhere close to home in Shepherd's Bush before Albert tells him that he's seen all the movies showing locally, skiving out in the weekday afternoons while Harold's on his rounds. Additionally, they can't go back to the Rembrant cinema because Albert got booted out of there on Monday afternoon during the old people's matinee for harassing an old lady who had, according to Albert, 'skinny old legs'. He'd have preferred a go at the monster, naturally.

Harold suggests they go a bit further afield and catch a flick in Hammersmith instead. Looking through the local paper, he discovers that there are two films screening down the road from the Bush: Fellini's 8 and a Half and a picture called Nudes of 1964. Albert's not seen the latter and he's keen but Harold sees the cinema as an art form, not a tawdry peepshow. After convincing Albert that, based on what happened at the Rembrant, he wouldn't be able to control himself in such a racy feature, Harold persuades his dad to see the Fellini instead.

With his plans for a good evening foiled, the Steptoe patriarch sets about making Harold's night out a misery: he flirts with the girl at the ticket booth, and once inside the cinema he doesn't stop talking for a moment. When Harold tries to reprimand Albert he's hushed by the other members of the audience.

But there's another problem. Albert's been short-changed at the food stand and is very vocal in his outrage at being diddled out of a tanner. Another headache: Albert can't get the straw through the lid of his drink, and he's not shy about letting Harold know his discomfort. By this point the veins in the other moviegoers' necks are bursting, and Harold sacrifices his own drink just to pacify his pater. Albert sucks on his drink sounding like a vacuum cleaner with emphysema and Harold begins to wish that the ground would open and swallow him up. By now Albert just doesn't care and begins openly and loudly talking to Harold about a bloke coming to fix the mangle in the Steptoes' yard and a chap asking him for the price of a pair of ornamental dogs.

Finally one of the men sitting behind the noisy twosome can take no more and threatens to stuff Albert's ice-cream down the back of his 'dirty little throat'. Harold's not standing for such rudeness and an argument ensues, eventually developing into a cinema-wide brawl. The manager appears on the scene and, upon hearing about the Steptoes' uncooth behaviour and Harold's bit of minor sexual harrassment, slings them both out.